Keep From Cryin
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Do the grammatical errors add to or detract from the writing?
I've started writing a short piece from the perspective of an intelligent, albeit not very educated southern girl. I've tried to maintain the voice by writing how she'd talk- simplicity and grammatical errors included. Below is a little excerpt. Do you think I should refine the writing, or keep it as is?
I like to think it isn’t my fault. Collin cryin’.
Every time I come near him he takes to bawlin’. Nora says he does that with everyone, but sometimes I swear he looks at me like he know what I done.
Thanks,
PR
It's great. The diction really adds to the tone of the piece. I might eliminate "bawlin'" and add a "g" to the end, unless you are shooting to that musical feeling between "cryin'" and "bawlin'". It has a nice rhythm...
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smokey robinson & the miracles - i gotta dance to keep from crying
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