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Okay, since I'm dishin' it out, it's time to take some, tell me what you all think?
Just a snippet,
A world so much better than this
and in the morn I will not miss
But to my morning breath so stagnant
I remember just a fragment
Still reeling from a cliffside fall
Or a pink polka dotted mall
Sometimes I'm filled with great suspense
But most don't make a bit of sense
I've faced within my darkest fears,
And friends I haven't seen in years
But sometimes I can hear God speak
And things I've seen has made me shriek
Mom even comes to visit me
Though years ago she was set free
Hugs me tight and tells me "Son,
I see the person you've become"
And makes me ache at same old thoughts
That I had long ago forgot
And ones I love that hold my heart
We'll hold hands and never part
We kiss as though it were real life
Eons from our pain and strife,
It all feels like it won't end
Until the morning comes again
Two questions:
Did you like it?
What am I talking about?
Please be nice, I'm emotionally unstable
but don't feed me $hit covered in sugarcane
You're such a poet: emotionally unstable & angry!--lol
I like it but it needs a bit of tweaking. I think some of your line needs expansion. You raise Q's that are left unasnwered., i.e.
4th line--what is the fragment remembered?
9th line--I'm a little confused by your wording--are the friends on the following line part of your fears?
17th line--And makes me ache....is that Mom who's doing that or you to yourself?
Also try to insert some punctuation so we know where to go with your words, grab their impact. And tighten up your rythym better.
Hope I didn't make you angrier, hehehehe.
Whats On My YouTube Today?
Die anseltaler- Polka Doble Polka hits
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VINYL LP ALBUM ~~ANDREW SISTERS GREATEST HITS ~~ BY ANDREW SISTERS, Lot of 12 EASY LISTENING 33 RPM Records LP Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass MORE , The Great Band Era Collector's Edition of Original Recordings 1936-1945 RECORDS, POLKA'S GREATEST HITS VARIOUS ARTISTS 20 VOL.1 LP.BEST!, Collection of 107 records from Nat King Cole to Barbara Streisand & many more!, JERRY KELLER: "HERE COMES SUMMER" - MCA REISSUE OF 1965, 158 records collections, DEL WOOD AUTOGRAPHED LP + NEWS ARTICLE Hot, Happy & Honky, Neil Diamond Record LP Greatest Hits ORIG Bang label Blps 219 Girl Women Soon , 112 VINYL RECORDS JAZZ CLASSICAL SOUNDTRACKS BLUE'S EASY LISTINING, CONNIE STEVENS Conchetta WARNER BROTHERS LP 1958, Down Memory Lane - a Reader's Digest box set, BRIAN HYLAND - UNI - LONELY TEARDROPS, WILLIE NELSON - RCA PROMO - PRETTY PAPER - COUNTRY CHRISTMAS, 1975 ABC Dot Records #DOSD-2030 33 1/3 RPM LP - ROY CLARK's Greatest Hits Vol. 1, Vintage LP - Greatest Hits Volume 1 - Roy Clark, JULIO IGLESIAS WILLIE NELSON PS 45 rpm TO ALL THE GIRLS I'VE LOVED BEFORE, Lot of 12 vintage records Fox Trot, Jo Stafford, Art Kassel, Frank Sinatra +more, FRANK WOJNAROWSKI 45 EP - HIT POLKAS - DANA POLISH, 6- Reader's Digest Boxed Set LP Albums, 1969-1983, Stardust Ballroom, Jukebox +, 78 rpm,screaming jay hawkins,kokomo arnold,& lots more,buy what u want ,buy all, ANDREWS SISTERS 1945 45 rpm THE BLOND SAILOR ALL THE WORLD TO ME, Fun Rock UK vinyl record LP RTL2015 RONCO 1976, 33 LARRY CHESKY "POLKA WITH" REX LP 753 TERESA ZAPOLSKA, 70s Rock 24 LOT Record LP Van Morrison Elton John Rolling Stones Eagles Roxy NM, Frankie Carle - 2-Pack of Vinyl LP's - Free Shipping, "Whoopee" John Wilfahrt: "Fisher Maid Polka" - '54 Hit - Near Mint, Lot of 4 Polka Lp's *ALL SEALED** Polkamama Motor City, OVER HERE OC PROMO DJ LP ANDREWS SISTERS PATTY MAXENE JOHN TRAVOLTA JANIE SELL, DEPECHE MODE, TOTO, NENEH CHERRY "CLUB HITS VOL # 6 " MINT LP 1990 SWEDEN / DK++, DANCE PARTY Music for the Entire Family Vinyl 3-LP Set Great Condition 30 Songs, ITSY BITSY TEENIE WEENIE YELLOW POLKADOT BIKINI~45 NEW, BRIAN HYLAND - KAPP THE CLICKITY CLACK SONG FOUR LITTLE HEELS, GREAT ORIGINAL HITS OF THE 50s AND 60s 9LP BOX SET READERS DIGEST POP VINYL NM, THE CRAMPS Gravest Hits PUNK Record LP disc NM, Happy Louie: "Love & Peace" - his '71 Polka hit on the Ha-Lo label - Near Mint!, The Andrews Sisters "Sixteen Great Performances" SEALED LP / 16 Greatest Hits, LAWRENCE WELK LOT OF 6 LPS , JOE DOLCE MUSIC THEATRE German PS 45 SHADDAP YOU FACE ~ AIN'T IN NO HURRY, FRANK CHACKSFIELD AND HIS ORCHESTRA LOT 6 LP 4 LONDON PHASE 4 STEREO, FAMOUS FILM MOVIE THEME MUSIC COMPILATION LOT 7 LP, MANTOVANI & His Orchestra, A TWO RECORD SET - From Monty With Love, various/80 Polka Hits/Stereo/4 LPs/VG+ HEAR, RARE COUNTRY MUSIC COMPILATION LOT 7 LP 6 STEREO 1 FACTORY SEALED 1 TRIPLE ALBUM, 45 Will Glahe/Beer Barrel Polka/Liechtensteiner Polka/London/NM, Accordion Myron Floren 22 gr Polka Hits 2LPs GF Cdn NM, 1950'S 1960'S POP VOCAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC COMPILATION LOT 4 LP 6 VINYL RECORDS, ROY CLARK Greatest Hits Volume 1 VINYL LP Yesterday When I Was Young, JOHN GART & THE POLKA RHYTHM KINGS LP 38 GREAT HITS, BILLY VAUGHN LP GREAT COUNTRY HITS DOT, J. Strauss' Greatest Hits-ArthurFiedler&BostonPops /Fritz Reiner&ChicagoSymph LP, 11 Oldies Variety LP Record Albums (33rpm) +Elvis Cover, ROBERT GOULET - GREATEST HITS - COLUMBIA RECORDS, RAY EBERLIE - A TRIBUTE TO GLENN MILLER - TIARA RECORDS - 1950S, Choice K-Tel Original Artist LPS Mmost NM 1.00 # 1, ROY CLARK - ROY CLARK'S GREATEST HITS VO. I, Hank Thompson.Golden Country Hits LP.T 2089.UK.64.Mono, Don Reno Red Smiley I Know You're Married KING 45 5046, Rock 27 Record LOT LP Elton John Jethro Tull Who Santana Foghat Bob Seger NM, BUCK OWENS And His Buckaroos Instrumental Hits Record,
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